The sponsor-sponsee relationship is one of the cornerstones of the 12 step program. Simply put, a sponsor is someone who has been where you currently are, and has progressed further in his or her recovery. They are there to watch and learn from, while you go through your 12 steps.
They are there to listen to your experiences without judgment, and offer their unique support as someone who has been in your shoes before. Their purpose is not to give advice or tell you what to do, rather to tell you what they’ve done, while working the program themselves. When you find a sponsor, you end up finding the best part of yourself.
The Sponsor Who Has What I Want
While finding the right sponsor can be a daunting task for some, it really doesn’t need to be. The first thing you should look for in a sponsor is an individual that you admire, someone who embodies the qualities that you want. In that regard, your sponsor should have everything that you want. For example, if you long for serenity and peacefulness in your life, then that’s precisely the way your sponsor should come across. The theory behind choosing someone you want to try and be more like is that you’re going to do what your sponsor did to get what they have.
There’s no fool-proof methodology to finding the perfect sponsor because we as individuals are all different and subsequently have different priorities and needs. Go to a meeting and listen for somebody who shares and acts the way you want to share and act. It’s important to note that a sponsor should not be selected rashly.
What to Look for in a Sponsor
A great deal of time and commitment is necessary on both parts and each side needs to be willing to give that. You don’t want someone in charge of showing you how the principles of the program apply to your life who shows up for meetings once a month. You want someone who is as committed to the 12 step program as you’re trying to be.
Some final basics to keep in mind when selecting a sponsor are the following:
- Someone who has worked the 12 step program and emphasizes the steps and traditions
- Someone who has more time in recovery than you do
- Someone who has worked more steps than you have
- Someone who is available for phone calls and face to face meetings
- Someone who embodies recovery in all aspects of their life and lives the solution rather than the problem
- Someone who is the same gender as you
Destination Hope is a full-service drug, alcohol and dual diagnosis treatment facility for men in South Florida. Addiction is a powerful disease that can seemingly take over your life in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, your life is no longer about you and your hopes and dreams, but rather your addiction and sacrificing everything to feed it.
We at Destination Hope want to help you get back to the time in your life when you cared about your hopes and dreams. Call us today so we can help.